The Mole that wasn't a Mole

Since I post about all of the great things in my life, I guess it's about time I had a trial/hard time/ something that didn't turn out o.k. (though I guess it did in the end).

This past week I went in for a D & C after miscarrying. The journey started about 2 1/2 weeks ago when I surprised Jer with the positive pregnancy test and Audrey in a "Big Sister" t-shirt. I had been feeling off/emotional/nauseous for a while and finally drove to Walgreens picked up a test and my question was answered. They would have been about 20 months apart so that was pretty close but we were still really excited. A couple of days later after an exam and a little spotting the Doc wanted me to get an ultra sound. Laying there with Audrey between my legs we couldn't hear a heart beat. I was only 6 weeks and 1 day so we thought maybe it was too early, but truthfully I think we all knew it wasn't good. After two blood tests and the good news of my hormone level raising 40% I went in for a second ultra sound and once again no heart beat. Not hearing the heart beat wasn't the worst news; the Radiologist and Doc both thought that I might have a Molar Pregnancy. If you have never heard of a Molar Pregnancy (I never had):

"A molar pregnancy is the result of a genetic error during the fertilization process that leads to growth of abnormal tissue within the uterus. Molar pregnancies rarely involve a developing embryo, and the growth of this material is rapid compared to normal fetal growth. It has the appearance of a large and random collection of grape-like cell clusters."

and the scary part-

"About 15% to 20% of complete molar pregnancies develop trophoblastic disease that keeps growing after the molar pregnancy is removed. A small percentage of these may become invasive cancer. Fortunately, nearly 100% of those women who develop cancer are cured with treatment"

So needless to say it was not a good day. I wasn't very sad about the miscarriage but more concerned about staying healthy in order to be Mom to Audrey and hopefully be able to have more children.

The doctor wanted to do a D & C as soon as possible to get the so called "mole" out. After arriving at the hospital last Wednesday and being stuck 4 times for the IV, I think it finally hit me. Three hours later I woke up and was on my way home hoping for good news, but not feeling very optimistic. After a call from my Doc, we were told that it looked good and although he was pretty convinced after seeing the ultra sound it may not be molar.

Two days later and many flowers, gifts, calls, texts, prayers, and love from friends and family, I was told that there were NO molar cells found. Hallelujah!! After carrying this burden over the last 2 weeks, I was immensely relieved and was so grateful to Heavenly Father for this gift of health. My naseua has gone away and the recovery hasn't been too bad.

I feel grateful to so many of you who have been so understanding and caring over the last couple of weeks. Your phone calls, talks, and love has opened my eyes to how blessed I am with good friends. Thank you. Jeremy has also been such a rock through this and his love, optimism, and help with Audrey makes me love him more today than ever.

The uncertainty I felt and forseeing a long year of tests, waiting, and poor health helped me remember what is important in my life and how much I love being a Mom and how grateful I am for the wonderful daughter I do have. I hope that this trial I have gone through makes me a better person and a better Mom. I know that when we go through hard times we are meant to learn and change because of them. I just hope I don't have many more learning experiences in my near term future.